So, last time I had us finally get home from a trip to San Marcos, where we communed with mermaids and Acquamen and others of that finny ilk. And I mentioned that we’d been hot as blue blazes the whole time.
But...
Then I hinted that things were about to get very different. And a lot more expensive.
Here’s the tale. We had just gotten home from the trip and were settling in nicely for the night when I got a text message from my son. It said, “Have you checked your weather app?” Hmm. I thought. Isn’t that interesting? I added. No I haven’t, I concluded. I’m insightful that way. I’m so insightful I’ve got reverse eyeballs.
I picked up my phone. Sure enough, there was a “Weather Alert” flashing on the screen. Hello, I said, always with a friendly greeting, even to strangers and Weather Alerts. What’s that?
I clicked on the weather alert. The aforesaid ‘lert read, “CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION! Hail storm headed this way! Hail the size of baseballs expected! Take cover immediately!!!”
Hail...I thought. Hail? I added. Hail? But this afternoon we were like to drop from heat exhaustion. It had been brutally hot for three days. Martha nearly passed out at Walmart. And she felt sick at the Meadows just this afternoon. Hail? Not possible. No way. Must be a different part of Texas. That’s it. Gotta be. Someplace way north...
There was a boom of thunder in the distance.
Then there was a boom of thunder not so far away.
Then there was a boom of thunder right over the freaking house!
I ran to the door. Sure enough, the sky opened up like...like...like...like I don’t know. What opens and drops tons of ice? Like...the Titanic’s aft hatch on a stormy day. Naw? That’s not it. Too subtle. I’ll work on it and get back to you later.
And it was...hail. It was small at first. But then it got bigger...and bigger...and BIGGER. I could hear it impacting the roof with great walloping thumps. The trees in the yard were bouncing about...
And my car...
Martha’s car was in the garage. We have just barely enough room to get her car into the garage. Along with all the junk that we’ve never figured out what to do with.
But my SUV...was...in... the... driveway...
Crunch, bang, thump...insert further sounds of impact and suffering as required.
About the photos: Three today. First, a couple of shots of the remains of my sunroof window after the storm. It actually looks better here than it did in real life. When I touched the “unbroken” glass, it instantly crumbled into so many shards.
Next, and much more fun, Martha looking bemused in a photo I got of her at home a short while back.
I ran to the back door to see what was happening to the back porch. While I was there, Martha yelled at me, “Your car alarm!” I ran back to the front door. Yep. The car alarm was going off to beat the band. I’ve never understood that expression. Why would you want to beat a band? Maybe whack it a little...if it was trying to do a neo-polka version of Richard Strauss. Say, “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” with massed electric accordions and amps that go to Spinal Tap 11. But only lightly. And not leaving any bruises. But beating it? No.
Anyway, I got the alarm turned off with my key fob. Then we stood there for a while watching...while my SUV suffered wanton abuse. But it was very stoic about it. I love a stoic SUV.
Finally, the hail petered out. (Again, why Petered? Why not Pauled? Or Luked?) I checked my SUV. The sun roof glass was so much ground sand. There was a large and lovely crack in my windshield. Over the next few weeks, I’d get both fixed. Even with insurance, it cost quite a lot of money.
What really concerned me was the roof of the house. I was sure we’d taken serious damage. Amazingly, though, we didn’t. I’ve got a contract with a roofing service, and I had a guy come out and have a look. To my surprise (and his!), there wasn’t any serious damage. Kind of amazing.
The hail itself melted with remarkable speed. After it had stopped, I went outside hoping to snap a few photos of the individual hailstones, which really were enormous. I saw several that honestly were the size of baseballs.
But, by the time I got outside, most of them had melted away to nothing. They were, if not water under the dam, then at least water under the porch.
I later learned that the hail was produced by a “supercell” thunderstorm. I don’t quite understand what a supercell storm is, but I’ll put some links below to webpages that offer definitions. Suffice to say, though, they produce ferocious weather, including fierce winds, massive lightning displays, sometimes tornados, and...you guessed it...enormous hailstones. Fortunately, they tend to be rare...or, at least, rarer than other sorts of storm.
Unfortunately, they may not stay rare. As the world gets hotter (and, yes, that’s happening. Global warming is real), such storms will appear more and more often. Just like hurricanes.
And we are all going to have to think about that, and work on solutions...particularly as insurance companies are increasingly loath to pay out the massive sums necessary to rebuild after such weather-related disasters occur.
So, everyone, put on your thinking caps...and get a flash of genius or two.
I have a strange and uncomfortable feeling that all of us...in Texas particularly, but everywhere...are going to need your wisdom...
And very soon.
Footnotes
Rather than footnote individual sections of this piece, I’m just going to offer links to informative sites on the subject of the supercell storm and on the economic consequences of our changing weather. Here we go:
1. The Storm of September 24, 2023
“Baseball-sized hail wreaks havoc in Central Texas: Major damage reported,” by Rob Cartwright, Sunday, September 24th 2023 at 11:03 PM, CBSAustin, https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/baseball-sized-hail-causes-damage-in-central-texas-hailstorm-windshield-severe-weather
“Central Texans assessing damage after hail, thunderstorms pummel region,” By Christine Sanchez, Spectrum News, 7:03 AM CT Sep. 25, 2023. https://spectrumlocalnews.com/tx/south-texas-el-paso/news/2023/09/25/hail-central-texas-thunderstorm
“The September 24, 2023 Round Rock / North Austin Hail Storm,” NWS Austin/San Antonio, TX, January 2, 2034, https://storymaps.arcgis.com/stories/93644365bd0d4bcfa56533cab6051aa1
2. Supercell Storms
“What is a supercell?” National Weather Service, https://www.weather.gov/ama/supercell
“Prepare for a Supercell,” Weather Underground, https://www.wunderground.com/prepare/supercell
3. Economics Of Severe Weather
“No doubt about it, 2023 was a 'hail' of a year: Record hailstorms ravaged Texas last year, and forecasters are increasingly concerned about the rising costs associated with storm repairs.” by Bob Garcia-Buckalew, KVUE ABC, Published: 10:34 PM CST March 8, 2024, https://www.kvue.com/article/news/local/2023-hail-info-texas/269-d63b7edc-413e-477f-a739-ca999ed85d69
“Round Rock ISD identifies up to $70 million in hail damage from September storm” By Brooke Sjoberg | 12:59 PM Nov 30, 2023 CST. Community Impact. https://communityimpact.com/austin/cedar-park-far-northwest-austin/education/2023/11/30/round-rock-isd-identifies-up-to-70-million-in-hail-damage-from-september-storm/
“Hella Hail Coming Down in Texas: Climate change is increasing the size of stones, making people—and insurance companies—anxious” by Paula Levihn-Coon, Texas Observer, November 2, 2023, 10:14 AM, CDT. https://www.texasobserver.org/hella-hail-coming-down-in-texas/
Addendum
I wrote this piece in the early evening of April 1, 2024. Just after I finished writing it, I got yet *another* weather alert. A serious storm had once again appeared on the horizon and all the weather apps on my phone and Mac lit up with warnings about rain, storm, and... “large hail.”
These warnings were accompanied by enormous lightning flashes in the sky, and the vast, deep rumblings of thunder.
It was already late at night. In fact, we’d been on the verge of getting ready for bed. But I just didn’t want to go through the hassle (and the rather stunning cost) of replacing my car windows and sunroof.
So, in the dark, working feverishly, armed with the flashlight on my phone, and as the sky lit up now and then with lighting and fury, I set out to protect my SUV from the elements. First, I drove it up as close to the house as I could get it, in the (probably vain) hope that the roof would give it at least a little protection.
Then, I found an old pillow in the garage and put that on top of the sunroof. After that, I unearthed a tarpaulin. I spread that over the front of the car and the roof and then tied it down as best I could with four bungee cords.
I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work. I figured the wind would come along and whip the tarp off to Oz or Dallas (six of one) and maybe take my poor little car with it. Something about dropping on witches at this point...
Or I figured that the hail would be so big and vicious that it would go through the tarp and the pillow like cannon balls cardboard...but, dang it! ’Twas the best I could do on short notice.
You know, of course, the rest of the story. All night long, we were entertained by flashes of lightning and beaucoup Bach fugues of major thundering...but no hail. There was a little rain, but nothing worse. All my desperate, fumbling work in the dark was for nothing.
But, as Martha pointed out in the morning, if I hadn’t made the effort...you know...as sure as shootin’, we’d have had a major hailstorm, and I’d be a couple of thousand dollars in the hole. Again.
So...I guess...better safe than sorry.
Anyway, I’ll post a couple of pictures of my SUV as it was this morning, still packaged up, and ready for delivery.
About the photos: Here’s a shot of my car wrapped up like a Christmas present. You can’t see the cushions over the sunroof, but they’re there under that ragged tarp. It looks awful, but oddly enough, it seems to work. We’ve had a few storms since I wrote this, and no broken glass so far.
Copyright©2024 Michael Jay Tucker
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